Some fatal attraction draws me down into the abysses of thought, down into those innermost recesses which never cease to fascinate the strong. I shall spend my life gazing at the ocean of art, where others voyage or fight; and from time to time, I’ll entertain myself by diving for those green and yellow shells that nobody will want.
“Deus Aderit” is based on the real numinous experience I had in my dream years ago. It was absolutely ineffable and indescribable but yet I felt compelled to describe it. Of course, it is a very pale shadow of what I experienced.
It’s not that the myth predicts visions. It’s that the structure of consciousness demands the myth. The Pleroma isn’t calling you specifically. It’s calling through the only shape that never breaks.
All I could do is to call mom on a Saturday and sit with her, for the hundredth time answering her questions. I was not mad or impatient, I said to her in my mind: whatever happens happens but I am not letting you go.
In the dream, standing on the shore and looking at the waves in a daze, I felt how it acted on me. It changed me, elevating me to heaven in a rush of great joy. It freed me from the bondage of my personality. All the details of my present life, with all its problems and worries, dreams and hopes, suddenly turned out to be complete nonsense in comparison with what was blowing in from the sea. The sea gave me boundless beauty, boundless freedom and love.